It’s a habit I wish I was better at keeping up with, because that list is pretty awesome to look back on. However, in the spirit of Thanksgiving week, I figured now’s a good a time as any to start up again:

• Not having to work on Thanksgiving day. I’m so glad I got to spend the day sleeping and eating and being with friends.
• the Siders family. They have adopted me as their own out here, and are seriously part of my “Columbus family”. I had Thanksgiving with them this year and it was a blast. And delicious.
• My 6 girls: I disciple 6 girls this year, 3 in Columbus and 3 scattered at colleges across the country. This week they are all home. And I get to see them all. They make me laugh and they refresh my heart. They love Jesus so much and they want to honor him with their lives. They are living examples of 1 Timothy 4.12, and my heart bleeds 3 John 4 (‘I have no greater joy then to hear that my children are walking in the truth.’) when I spend time with them. Morgan, Leah, Zoe, Holli, Emma, and Meghan. I love you.
• the Artrips: another part of my Columbus family. I don’t think I could have guessed when we were planning homecoming together 9 years ago that Mark and Kristin would be 2 of my dearest friends. I am constantly learning from and being challenged by their lives and their faith, and their boys are 2 of my favorite kids in the world. For real. You guys are the best.
• coffee. Seriously.
• God’s faithfulness. I’ve been thinking about this one a lot lately. The Lord has been faithful to provide for and care for me every step of the way. My life has taken some crazy turns, but He is always leading. It’s such a safe feeling.
• My roommate! You wouldn’t think that it would be so easy and so fun to live with someone you only met once before you moved in, but it really really is. Megan is the best. We laugh a lot, and I have learned about more reality TV shows in the last 4 months than I even thought possible. Also, we have sweet decorations, because she is a pintrest addict. :)
• My family, of course. The older that we all get, the greater it is when we’re all together. I could go on about you all forever. Thankful for your love, your patience, your hilariousness, and the way you love Jesus. AND that you are coming out to see me this weekend :)
• Federal loans. So that I can go back to school.
• the Dodge Stratus. It has 236,400+ miles. And still runs. The Lord is behind that, I am sure.
• singing. What a good idea, God.
• Mark Driscoll, Matt Chandler, Andy Stanley, Steven Furtick…. I have learned so much from these guys. Thankful for the way that God can sovereignly use sermons from people in all corners of the country to hit me right where I’m at.
• Christmas music. Duh.
• a washer and dryer. I’m literally just so thankful for how easy it is to get my clothes clean. And that I have them in my very own apartment.
• Bunkbeds. Come on, who WOULDN’T want bunkbeds?
• ice cream. Again, duh.

And more importantly, Jesus. (I know, some of you are rolling your eyes and thinking this is cliche.) But genuinely, none of the rest of this stuff matters at all apart from Jesus and the way that he lived and died in my place, so that I can stand confidently and righteously before God. Without Jesus, the rest of this stuff is temporary and hollow and meaningless. With Jesus, they are blessing that make me want to thank God for his outrageous goodness in every area of my life.

This book is insanely interesting. If you are trying to see something (a belief, a product, a movement) take root, Gladwell has some very helpful information for you. He talks about Connectors, Mavens, and Salesmen (all necessary people in translating messages to the masses), and gives characteristics of epidemic movements that have swept across huge groups of people.

As I think from a church context, essentially all of this information is important. While the idea of ‘selling’ Christianity makes my skin crawl, it is clear that we, as churches, need to be well aware of how to make our message ‘sticky’ in the midst of all the other messages clamoring for people’s attention.

One of the things that really has me thinking is the rule of 150. This is a rule that has been observed in countless studies and organizations.  The rule of 150 is, simply, that people function and relate best when they are in groups of 150 or less. Our social capacity reaches its limit at 150 relationships; beyond 150, it’s hard to know people, to know how they fit in the social network. However, when we are in groups of 150 or less, we are able to

know [everyone in the group] well enough to know what they know, and know them well enough so that you can trust them to know the things in their speciality. It’s the re-creation, on an organization-wide level, of the kind of intimacy and trust that exists in a family.

This makes sense to me. And when I think about a church family, I think this is ideally how we would want to function: to know people well enough to know what they are able to do, to know what their gifts are, and to trust people to use their gifts and take leadership in the areas they are passionate about. When church families are bigger than 150, it becomes very difficult to know people well enough to know their gifts, their passions, and what steps of leadership they are ready to take. And so the leadership of the church stagnates, as the same people hold positions for far too long (because they don’t trust people to step up). Or, the leadership opportunities are passed around within a small group of the ‘insiders’ – people who are close to the core, who are known well enough to be trusted.

Now. I’m not staying no church should ever be bigger than 150. Not at all.

But I am asking the question: how to we intentionally create communities that are 150 or less within churches?

I know the obvious answer: small groups. And maybe it really is as simple as that.

But I think there is more to it. There needs to be a way that the leadership of churches is able to maintain connection down to the grassroots level, so that as people are joining our churches, meeting Jesus, and becoming committed disciples, they are able to move into leadership. We have to know them and trust them for that to happen. We can’t just create a system of small groups, shove people into them, and then be content that they have a ‘community.’ Church leadership needs to maintain a pulse on these groups.

How do we do that? I think the answer is in well structured, well coached small group communities. Gosh that sort of connection and investment  has to be so intentional…

• small group leaders have to work to really know their small group members
• the overseer(s) or coach(es) over small groups need to be intentional to stay connected with the small group leaders, shepherding their hearts, and also asking questions about the development and gifting of the members of the groups
• the pastor needs to cultivate relationships of trust with those overseers or coaches. Not only to encourage and shepherd them, but also keep a pulse on the health of the groups, on the people who are developing, and on the leaders who are currently developing.

The rule of 150. How are you going to implement better strategies so that people are really known and trusted to the point of being empowered in your church?

Factors that Affect Small Group Reproduction

1. Leader’s prayer life
2. Leader’s strategy/goals for multiplication
3. Leader has effective training
4. Group’s evangelistic efforts
5. Group’s ‘outside’ meetings (the fun factor)

NON factors: gender, class, age, marital status, education, personality type, spiritual gifting

I love that their study found that the number one factor impacting whether a group grows and multiplies is if the leader is praying. Praying for the group in general, for the individual members, for where God wants to take them and what he wants to do in them.

Everyone who is not ‘goal oriented’ is rolling his eyes over number 2 – have a strategy and goal for multiplication. Okay. I’m just going to say it – If you want to lead, you have to have goals, and you have to have a strategy. Goals flow naturally from a VISION. And if you don’t have a VISION, and then a PLAN to achieve that vision (i.e. goals), you are not leading anyone anywhere. You are just hanging out. So. Make some goals. And stop rolling your eyes.

Lastly, the fact that personality type and spiritual gifting are non-factors honestly shocked me. I have always believed that if a person doesn’t ‘have what it takes’ when it comes to a winsome personality or gifts of leadership and teaching, the group is never going to see growth. However, as always, the Holy Spirit working (through the leader’s prayer) trumps the leader’s abilities.

If you lead a small group, are you being intentional in these 5 areas?

5 Steps of Leadership Development

1. I do. You watch. We talk.
2. I do. You help. We talk.
3. You do. I help. We talk.
4. You do. I watch. We talk.
5. You do. Someone else watches.

I don’t think this is a new principle or idea. But I do like how simply it’s communicated here. Essentially this is the process of inviting an apprentice (or disciple) into your ministry/family/small group/life and letting them watch you model whatever it is you do. As time progresses, you do less and allow him or her to do more. Finally you release them to do it on their own … and make sure they start the process with someone new.

One of the things I like is that ‘We talk’ is emphasized in steps 1-4 (and honestly I think it could easily be added to step 5). Training someone in ANYTHING has to include debriefing. A lot of it.

• Ask questions of your apprentice. What did they see? What did they like? What would they do differently? Why do they think you did the things you did? What about the process/skill intimidates or scares them? What can you do to help? And then let them ask you questions.
• Constructive criticism is a must. People avoid this because they are afraid of hurting others’ feelings. Constructive criticism does not have to be nasty – the goal is to help your apprentice see what can be done better the next time. If you are not willing to do this, you will never be able to really develop people; they will persist in the same habits without outside perspective that helps them grow.
• Affirm, affirm, affirm. Encouragement needs to go hand-in-hand with constructive cristicism. Certainly there will be times that you do more of one than the other, but you must be intentional to be generous with both. Your apprentice needs to be reminded of the gifts you see in him, of the potential he has, of the strides you see him making. If you withhold these things, inevitably your apprentice will become frustrated and discouraged, or, even worse, focus his energy on pleasing you instead of the Lord.

 Who are you developing?

The impostor is a fake version of yourself…

1. The impostor lives in fear.
2. The impostor is consumed with a need for acceptance and approval.
3. The impostor is codependent; in other words, out of touch with his own feelings. (and dependent on the feelings of others)
4. The impostor’s life is a hearky-jerky existence of elation and depression. The impostor IS what he DOES.
5. The impostor demands to be noticed.
6. The impostor cannot experience intimacy in any relationship.
7. The impostor is a liar.

(In case you haven’t noticed, I love lists.)

I don’t know about you, but this hits a little too close to home for me. Typically, we call this behavior ‘people pleasing’. The reason, I’m guessing, is because ‘I’m a people pleaser’ sounds so much nicer than ‘I’m an impostor.’ But the reality is, people pleasing IS being an impostor. It’s becoming whomever you need to impress or appease the people around you.

What’s the solution to being an impostor? It’s a righted identity. Instead of finding identity in the people around you, in the position you hold, in the things you have accomplished, in the stuff that you own – find your identity in Jesus. I know that sounds like the Sunday School answer – but look at how an identity in Jesus changes everything:

1. You don’t live in fear, because perfect love casts out fear. (1 John 4.18)
2. In Jesus you have the ultimate acceptance and approval as a child of God, a coheir with Christ.
3. You remain codependent – but instead of dependent on the feelings of others, you are dependent on the feelings of Jesus about you. And he looks upon you with favor and love.
4. There are still moments of great joy and other moments of deep sorrow. However, you no longer ARE what you DO. It’s exactly the opposite - you DO things because of who you ARE – and you ARE a child of the King, holy, and declared righteous.
5. You realize that the only reason you want people to see you is so that you can point their attention to Jesus. It’s because of him that you are who you are and you do what you do.
6. You are not afraid of intimacy; even though it’s true that relationships will still have hurt and disappointment, those relationships don’t define you. Only your relationship with Jesus defines you, and he will never let you down. Being in real relationship is exciting because it is an opportunity to extend the very love and grace that Jesus gives you every day.
7. It’s not that you’ll never tell another lie. But you are a child of the Truth. There’s no reason to hide behind lies; if Jesus accepts you and all of your garbage, why hide it from people? Don’t glorify it, but use it as an opportunity to give God glory for his grace, and to let others see that no one is too lost, too broken, too dirty for him to accept. Why wouldn’t you want to share?

I’m preaching to myself right now. I want every ounce of being an impostor dug out of my heart. I want to live an authentic life as a child of the Creator of the universe.

Whether we ever see our dream fulfilled in our lifetime isn’t really my point. The very act of dreaming big – allowing your heart and mind to pursue a vision that is bigger than you can handle – will change you in some very significant ways…

1. Big dreams change your questions.
2. Big dreams change your prayers.
   If you don’t have a dream that leads you to greater dependence on God, then you need to get a bigger dream!
3. Big dreams change others.
4. Big dreams change you.
   Your dream will definite your identity, your relationship with God, and your closest relationships in ministry.

I honestly am really convicted by the thought that I don’t often dream big enough. Do I have a dream that leads me to depend even more deeply on the Lord? And am I willing to pursue that dream? Or to I only pursue things that are ’practical’ … I think we use that word when we actually mean we pursue things that are attainable on our own, things that aren’t really too scary or uncertain, or things that most people around us approve of.

Every part of me believes that the Lord lays dreams on each of our hearts. The thing that deep down you would love to do. The thing that, if you could be guaranteed you wouldn’t fail at, you would go after immediately. The thing that you instantly get passionate about when it comes up in conversation, and you can tell people around you are wondering why you’re getting all worked up.

Unfortunately, due to the culture we live in, many of us never slow down and quiet down long enough to let the Spirit open our eyes, our minds, our hearts, to what that God given dream is.

And if we do, we are so afraid to fail, and so desperate to please people, that we convince ourselves that our dreams are childish, that we are grownups now and need to be practical, that dreams don’t put food on the table.

I’m not saying we should be foolish. But I am saying we should have faith.

What would you do knew you wouldn’t fail?
What does your mind wander most often to?
What gets you worked up?
… What’s your dream?

And what’s stopping you from pursuing it?

‘If you don’t have a dream that leads you to greater dependence on God, then you need to get a bigger dream.’

1. God, being omnipresent, is with me, whether I sense His presence of not.
2. It was God who made the magnificent promises in the Bible.
3. God, being infinite Truth, always keeps His promises.
4. I cannot and will not judge God on the basis of His answers.
5. I will persevere in asking for the sense of reality with God.

Anyway. The other day at work someone asked me, ‘If you could live anywhere, where would you go?’ I thought about it for a while, and, honestly, I would stay right here. I’ve been lots of towns and cities and countries and I wouldn’t go anywhere else.

You don’t believe me. I figured.

Here’s the top 10 reasons I love living in Columbus (and why you should move here too):

1. Buckeye nation: home of THE Ohio State Buckeyes. Need I say more?
2. Community: not the show. I am finding my place among some friends, some people who really understand my heart and my passions. Priceless.
3. Cafe Brioso: just found this last week, courtesy of Alex McCue. Best cup of coffee I’ve had in a loooong time.
4. 3 hours from Grace College: why does this matter? Because my sister is a junior there, and we live close enough that she comes out to visit every other weekend.
5. HSM: High School Ministry at Grace Church. God is doing some really good things this year. I get to coordinate our small groups, help teach on Wednesdays, and work with our student leaders. Love it.
6. Real Life: My friend Josh leads worship every Thursday for Real Life – Campus Crusade’s weekly gathering on Ohio State’s campus. Josh is incredibly gifted, and being around 600-800 college kids worshiping Jesus is pretty refreshing. (Real Life testimonies are also some of the best I’ve ever heard.)
7. MJR: Warehouse store where Limited clothes are 85% off. Need I say more?
8. Menchies. UDF. Mardi Gras. Graeters. Jeni’s. Orangeleaf: ice cream, ice cream, ice cream.
9. Four seasons: maybe it seems like this goes without saying, but I’ve lived in places without 4 seasons. I love having fall and winter.
10. Living in one place: before I lived here, I traveled fulltime for 2 years. It’s good to have a home again.

Now you know. You should probably come join the fun.

This weekend my goal is to update the look of this thing and get back into the groove.

Hello blogworld. I have returned.